have you ever wondered

does anyone have a Blog Roll? i've never paid attention on other people's sites but man are those things nice! i can log onto my website and see if anyone has updated recently. it makes me happy! no longer do i have to go back and forth between my links and everyone's page that i'm just checking in on. haha!

have you ever wondered what makes us (as parents) go back on our word. man, i remember being pregnant "my child will NOT sleep with us in the bed. it just isn't going to happen." "my child will sleep through the night by 12 weeks b/c babywise said so and God knows they know everyone's individual children." "she's just going to have to cry it out." "she is NOT going to sit and watch tv...we will go outside and play!" the list really could go on but i'm sure you get the drift. when does it come to the point that you say "ok, i give up" and go back on your word? little bit hasn't really "slept with us" per se but she sure slept ON us for many weeks. it was the only way WE could get sleep. and anyone who reads my blog knows she's not sleeping through the night and she's WAY past that 12 week mark. and the tv thing--well, thankfully she doesn't really like the tv that much (my stuff is much more interesting) but i honestly would let her sit and watch it for a half an hour or so just so i could unload the dishwasher without worrying about her slicing her cute little fingers off! i really think it is just desperation. desperation for a little peace and quiet. desperation for a little time for ourselves. desperation to just feel like "ME" again (whatever that may be). i guess as long as we draw the line between letting tv time slide and letting them play with knives, we'll be ok. my sister (the 26 year old one) has a 3 year old. and honestly, i love my sister, but she's a bit lazy. so instead of just saying "no" and meaning "no" she says "no" and means "go ahead and do it b/c i'm too lazy to get up and actually stop you." i don't want to get to that point but i see how it would be easy! it is so easy to look at little bit climbing the baker's rack and think "she'll be fine and i'll tell her 'no' next time" when, in reality, i have to remember that consistency is what counts (even at 9 months) and you can't start disciplining when they're 16 (blah blah blah).

and since i said that--i heard my other sister (the 22 year old one with a 3 year old) tell her daughter today "i've already told you 'no' and don't ask me again" and it all of the sudden hit me that we're parents...PARENTS. that is such a BIG WORD! i'm not a parent. i'm still a child! how can a child raise a child?? i mean, i know i'm a mom but wow! i am molding and shaping this little being into what she will become. i feel like me and my 2 sisters and my brother should be jumping on the trampoline and making up "routines" and judging each other and sleeping in our bathing suits so that we can wake up and jump in the lake; not disciplining our kids and spending 25 hours a day raising them (yes, 25).

sorry i got deep there...doesn't happen much so just muddle through when it does!