2 posts in one week! wow!
i am feeding my daughter cheerios and while i have a moment to think (in quiet) i thought i'd post (very quickly b/c i just noticed my battery is about to die).
per my last post--i have now moved from total anger to totally heartbroken and i'm still really confused. i don't understand what happened but i also don't understand the problem i have hanging onto friends. my best friend in the whole world in high school and i "split up" several years ago. she moved a few hours away and that was hard but we made it work for a few years. then we ended up in a heated argument stemming around my changing my major (she thought i was selling myself short), she moved and didn't bother telling me or giving me her new phone number, and things just haven't been the same since. we hardly ever talk now (like twice a year--MAYBE). after my 1st 2 years of college i met sara (the bride from the last post). she was in a serious relationship, i was married, her old friends were partying and weren't in serious relationships and we just kind of...worked. for about 2 years everything was great. then i got pregnant and hormonal and never wanted to talk on the phone (but selfishly always wanted someone to talk to me when i was ready) and things changed with her. but we talked it all out and i realized how much i stink as a friend (back to the selfish comment) and started to work through that. however, little bit came along w/i just a few months and i don't know what happened after that. i guess maybe she thought that i was too busy or she was intruding...i don't know. we still invited her over frequently but she would only stay a few minutes, she stopped asking me to go shopping or have my nails done or anything really. but her old friends had now settled down some and she started hanging around them again. then there's andi. we got close while i was pregnant (she was pregnant too) and after her little one was born, she stopped calling (little bit is 3 months younger than her's).
so i definitely see a pattern (life changes, friends change) but i feel like a friendship should withstand and pull through life changes! i am heartbroken to know that i may not ever have a lifelong friend again. how do i stop this cycle?
posted by Ashley @ 9:18 AM
2 Comments:
I have had kind of the same scenario - when I was younger, I always befriended the new younger than I gals that came to our church. We'd get really close, then they'd branch out and I was left behind. I never have figured it out. I really don't have any close friends right now - the closest ones I have are here in cyberspace - how weird is that??
But I do know that when life changes, everything else does too. I still have good distant friends that, when we get together, nothing has changed. We just don't get together enough.
I certainly don't understand what happened with this situation, though! To go from being matron of honor to no contact is really strange.
Haven't seen you in so long! That picture of little bit is amazing! She has grown so much!
I have the same situation with friends. Seems kind of hard to make and maintain friendships once you get into the married/having kids stage of life. Other than those friends you make at church or playgroups but never see otherwise.
I think you are totally normal and I don't think it has anything to do with you. But it is hard, believe me I know!
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