Who wants to hear me cry??

If you don't, you might want to stop reading now.

I am so frustrated with things right now. I am over the sadness and onto frustration (I'm not sure which is worse). One example of my frustration...B has worked for Nabisco for 12 years. A few years ago Kraft bought them out. Before the change, B got great bonuses, incentives every quarter, weekend trips all the time, it was just wonderful. Plus he has a company car with paid gas and insurance...jeez what a job! Then comes big ol' Kraft. Slowly the bonuses got smaller (they were "restructured"---ha!), the incentives completely disappeared, and it has been over a year since the last weekend trip. On top of all of that--our insurance has changed 3 times in the last 4 years. We had Aetna, then went to United Healthcare, and now we're back to Aetna. With UH, all of Little Bit's well baby visits were 100% covered as well as her immunizations (approximately $337). Well, they changed to Aetna this year and her 15 month checkup was today. My mom told me that a friend of her's who works at the pediatric office in billing told her that she had pulled up Little Bit's info and she doesn't have insurance. There is so much wrong with that statement--#1. we do have insurance; just not what they have on file #2. as far as that lady is concerned, it is none of my mom's business (although, I tell my mom every single thing) and finally #3. HIPAA VIOLATION!! But besides that annoyance--they don't take Aetna's insurance. They told me they would file as out of network but I had to pay in full up front. Right...b/c I have $337 just eeeking out of my ears. I wasn't so mad about the HIPAA violation until after the whole they don't take my insurance issue but now, I'm ticked! I work in healthcare and I know what a big deal HIPAA is. I know that lady was just trying to help, but she should've just called me. Anyway, back to the dr--the closest pediatrician in our network is 25 miles away...25 freakin' miles away! We are in the fastest growing county in our state and we have to drive 25 miles to get a pediatrician??? Plus, I don't know anyone to ask about the quality of this dr. I've cried a lot today. I'm debating about what to do w/ the HIPAA issue. My gut says to sue (welcome to America) but my logical mind says to talk to the director of the clinic. I am sure I made them feel really really bad too b/c I took them 2 trays of chicken salad sandwiches from chick-fil-a. I told the lady to cancel my appointment and as I was turning to leave she said "well, are you still leaving these?" I should've just taken them back.

Does it ever get to the point in life where you feel like you aren't going one step forward and 2 steps back??

On a happy note (and not at all helping the money issue) I bought a new diaper bag today. It was a $25 diaper bag on sale for $6.24. Woo. I like it so much better than my other one.

Little Bit is doing good. She went to church nursery for the first time in 2 months last Sunday and now has a runny nose. That happens every single time. They couldn't calm her down during the 2nd hour, either, and had to put her in another room. I think it was b/c her 2 "teachers" during 2nd hour were male and she doesn't like males. She is so cute, though. I just want to eat her up. She has been in a really good mood today (probably b/c she's getting sick b/c that seems to happen most times). She says "now" now. My mom always says that (e.g. "let's zip up your jacket....zip....now"). So everytime we do something, Little bit says "na." She also knows Chick-fil-A. Our CFA is in a shopping center where it is hard to see but tonight we were driving past the shopping center and she started grunting (her version of mooing like a cow) and signing cow. I said "where's a cow?" and she pointed to CFA and said "ziz zsha zsha" (which means Chick-fil-A). I am impressed with her memory. All we have to do is walk in the front of walmart and she starts signing fish so we'll take her to see the fish tanks. She is growing and changing so much. It is so hard to believe she' s 15 months old.

On another subject (I'm jumping around a lot) I think I am going to start selling pampered chef. I am about 98% sure (yesterday was 97%). If I do that and like it for a month or so, I'm quitting the hospital (no, I'm not going to have 3 jobs). I'm excited about it. But not enough to get really excited b/c I'm still so frustrated.