me+people=bad

I am NOT a people person. Have you picked that up? Here's the reason (or my decided reason, anyway): I am a people pleaser. I want to do no wrong to anyone. However, in my quest to people-please, I am CONSTANTLY hurt, offended, or flat pissed off in one way or another. Example 1: Little bit's bday party. I invite God and everybody and then don't get an invitation to my own niece's family birthday dinner (have I rammed that into the ground yet?). Example 2: I'm trying to legally park at the Christmas parade yesterday and some man stands in front of my car in broad daylight w/ a hawaiian print shirt on (yes, at the end of November) and proceeds to wave his arms around like I am blind and flying towards him at 65mph in a car with no brakes. I was dead stopped. My tires weren't even rolling. I proceeded to roll down my window and yell at him (there was a little more to that story but I'll spare you all the details--just know that he deserved to be yelled at). Some lady yelled at me today that "THE SPEED LIMIT IS 15MPH!!" so I stopped, backed up, rolled my window down and politely informed her that I was going 15mph (let it be known that I was at the entrance to where I live, having just turned off the highway...I could'nt have been going very fast). I don't like people.

Have you noticed how we feel invincible in our cars? If someone cuts you off in your car, just yell and scream and cuss b/c they can't hurt you. If they are in the middle of the street (which the woman was) talking to someone in another car (parked in the middle of the street) and you are in your car, let them yell at you. As far as they know, you won't even acknowledge them. WELL, WOMAN...YOU HAVEN'T MET ME YET! I call people out. I don't like being called out for things, and if I am made to feel uncomfortable in that manner, I make them equally as uncomfortable. I have stopped for NUMEROUS people (mostly children, but still) in this place and confronted them about what they had to say to me as I was strolling along in my car. I also confronted this HEIFER of a woman at Kroger one day who ran a stop sign and proceeded to shoot me a bird like I had done something wrong. The only thing I did was continue to drive and not hit my brakes, praying the entire time she would take off my bumper so I could sue for something stupid like a toe jam. I am NOT crazy and would NOT hurt someone physically but DON'T for a SECOND think I'll let you get away with being ugly to me. I won't!

Right after I turned 16 a friend wanted to go to the movies with me and another friend one night. She was only 15 and when we asked her mom, her mom said "I'll let you since you are going with Ashley. I know she can take care of herself." Translation: "Ashley's mean." I wasn't always like this. My insecurities have led me to this point. When I was in high school people picked on me...a lot. and for a year and a half or 2 years, I just took it and tolerated it. I went home daily and cried and wrote in my journal about how sad I was. And then one day, it was like a light shone over my head. Instead of just going home and crying, I'm going to fire right back. I started to do that and within a year or so, people didn't pick on me anymore. I wasn't an angel by any means. I said a lot of things that I shouldn't have about people, but (and this is NOT an excuse) it stemmed from them saying something about me. It hurt me, then made me mad, and then I snapped. When I started dating my (now) husband, one guy (who I didn't get along with anyway) said it was "f-ed up" that he was 8 years older than me. I cornered him during break one day (in front of my most favorite teacher) and told him I had 2 mother's and didn't need another one, but if the position opened up, I'd let him know. I'm pretty sure it was him who wrote "B****" in the dust on my car.

Translation: Ashley's mean.

Ramblings of a tired mind...

WOW! It has been over 2 weeks since my last post. Geez time flies!

**Thanksgiving was good. I wish I had pictures but I was too busy to remember to take them. Christmas will not be the same way (busy, yes, but I'll remember pictures).

**My stepmom is still miffed about my sister being pulled out of school. I did go to Olive Garden the night of my niece's birthday dinner that I wasn't invited to and they were all there. I was lied to and told it was "last minute." Even if it was, I live about 3 1/2 minutes from Olive Garden (literally). So I called my dad and asked him what was going on. All he kept saying was I needed to talk to Renee (my stepmom). I asked was she upset with me about my sister and the school thing and he said "well, she wasn't happy." I said "not happy with me?" "you just need to talk to her." I told him I had tried calling 4x and she hadn't bothered calling back so I was giving up. 2 days later I was in the emergency room visiting my sister-in-law (also where my stepmom works) and there hangs a flier for a Christmas party for "Friends and Family" at my stepmom and dad's house. No one had invited us. I received an invitation today (that was a week and a half ago). I don't like my family.

**B's mom finally invited us to Thanksgiving. He had to call her about something and while he was on the phone she told him (4 days before that Thursday and after all of the rest of the family had been invited). I don't like his family either.

**My mom (I love her) is sick. I've had to call into work the last 2 days b/c I have had no babysitter. I hate doing that but I'm only going in b/c my boss is short handed so it isn't a real big deal. It has been nice not working.

**Life is too busy. I haven't been working but I haven't been home for the last few days b/c of errands. and when I am at home, things are too busy for me to actually enjoy being here. Does anyone else's husband like to leave things half done? Mine does. He'll take the trash out of the garbage can and put it on the deck, but then he'll leave no bag in the can and the bag on the deck will be ripped open by cats b/c he "forgets" to take it out. That's just one example...let's not fill my blog with too much mindless ramble.

**I have a new job...marketing with our local Chick Fil A. I'm super excited about it and yes, it is tiring doing that on top of all of the other stuff but it is so much better than my other job (which I am also still doing). Thankfully the 2 girls I'm working with have other jobs and/or families as well so if I have to drag Little Bit along with us, no big deal. The pay isn't as much as I'd like (the same as at my other job, actually) but it is in my degree field and it is experience. Maybe it'll help my event planning dreams along.

**I'm sure there's more to write but I'm tired and my laundry needs folding and I have to be at our Christmas parade at 3:30pm to promote CFA. That gives me 2 hours to get my junk together, fold clothes, get ready, and (hopefully) rest.

**OH OH! and I'm at 18.5lbs lost and while I want to lose 30 total, I think my goal is just going to be not to gain during the holidays. I should post before and after pictures on here...but I'm not sure you'd be able to tell a difference.

PMS (for women only)

It seems that ever since I resumed having my montly visit from Aunt Flo, PMS has about done me in! I have horrible pain near my ovaries, I ache from my hips to my ankles to the point that I can't stand for extended amounts of time, and I'm ILL! Pissy would be a better word. So, that time's coming (I can tell b/c I also have an insatiable hunger which is NOT good for dieting) and this morning I wake up bloated...I have NEVER been bloated in my life! EVER. and now, my watch won't even fit my wrist, the scale is up 3lbs, and my fingers feel like fat sausages. I'm going to get some midol but does anyone have another suggestion? I haven't felt like this since I was swollen from being pregnant. Even my face feels swollen.

My step sister has failed to invite me to my niece's birthday party Wednesday. I busted my tail to make sure that (even though we were going to have 30 people in my tiny house) everyone was invited to Little Bit's party and evidentally, I could've left 7 people off (the step family). I love feeling loved.

B's mom has failed to invite us to Thanksgiving dinner. They normally have it at his grandparent's house on T'giving night but we haven't been in 3 years. However, I was informed last night (after calling his sister with Christmas questions) that his mom is hosting it this year. Has she bothered to call us? Has she bothered to see if we might be able to make it (especially in light of the fact that we never come on T'giving night)? Oh, no! Does she think we can read minds?

This is my PMS post...I'm sorry for the grumpiness. Maybe next time I post my hormones will be balanced out.

Some rambling thoughts

**He's mine!! That's right--I got one :) a TMX Elmo doll!! and I did NOT pay eBay prices. I ran across a website with insider info and found out that most Target stores would have a shipment in this morning b/c their toy ad broke w/ him in it. I still haven't seen the ad, but Elmo was in fact at our Target. He's red, fuzzy, and giggling :) They told us yesterday that they would be getting 53 of them in. They got 12. Either the employees went wild getting the rest or they were cut big time! *sigh* It has been a long week of fighting for this fella and I'm glad it is over. My toy searcher is on hold until the PS3s come out. Then, don't expect me to blog til I find 2 of those.

**Little Bit is getting her signs confused. We tried to take her off of a bottle this week, and I think that is what caused it. I think she thinks that "milk" means bottle. So now she just does "water" for everything since she hasn't been getting a bottle. EVERY-THING. I have given her 2 bottles today, though, and her signs have been pretty much normal again. Go figure. B and I have decided to call her bottle a "6oz canoe in a polka dot." That way if we talk about getting her one when we get home but don't have one then, she's none the wiser.

**B goes back to work tomorrow. Sadness.

**The girl who used to be my best friend in high school has a little sister who is 11 and evidentally got to watch Flava of Love with her substitute teacher the other day. The 5 girls in her family are not necessarily sheltered; however, they sure don't know about "humping" at 11 and that's what one of the other little girls told her they were doing on the show. The substitute then told them to be quiet b/c she hadn't seen this episode. According to Jo, she saw "women in bikinis being spanked by a man wearing a big clock, a man who was naked except the little blurry thing, and a man and woman humping." Her mom went to the school and the sub was put on one year's probation. What a slap on the wrist! This was the school I attended...I will NEVER move back there and put my child into that school system...never. I will eat ramen noodles if I have to, but I don't want her at that school.

**Christmas shopping was started this weekend. I bought 3 gifts. At least it is a start.

TALK ABOUT A RIP OFF!!

Check this out!!
People who do this stuff should be shot!

I'll be posting more when I have a TMX Elmo. Yes, I'm one of the crazed people and yes, you will think I'm even crazier when I tell you the lengths we're going to for one of these dumb dolls!!