roller coaster of emotions!

that is what this week has been, is, and i'm sure will be. so 1st of all--i have to be at the hospital at 7am. whoa! i was expecting 9:30. i have been fine until now...now, i could throw up. not excited at ALL! please please please pray and have anyone you know pray too. thanks!

2nd--the people buying our house got approval for the loan! yes! now they just have to get approval through the park. i tried calling the office here today but couldn't get anyone. i'll get brian to try calling tomorrow. i've told them 1000 times to apply but they haven't yet. i will be sad if they can't get into the park. they do a credit check and background check. i'm not so worried about the background check but i am a little about the credit check (although all they have to have is a 550). i know they got financing for the house but they had to have a cosigner. God will handle it though...He has everything else!

3rd--the house we want is still up in the air but i really feel like this is it. it is under contract--are you stupid, you put an offer on a house under contract?? yes, we did. here's why: the lady wanting to buy, has to first sell her house and then the people wanting to buy her house have to first sell their house. the lady selling our new house doesn't want to wait on all that. they are supposed to close on july 5th (one week) and the buyer doesn't even have financing yet. things are looking good for us! some signs that it is meant to be: japanese maples. does anyone know what japanese maples are? a lot of people don't but they are very expensive trees. my grandparents own a nursery and grow/graft their own maples and these people had 4 in their yard. also, in the pictures they have of the house from before they moved, they have a painting hanging in their living room. we have the exact same painting in our bedroom (jack vettriano: the singing butler). the house has a bay window...i've always always always wanted a bay window. the list could go on but let's just say that i think i know what my new address will be. and if not, then i feel like it is just affirmation from God that there will be something else out there.

3rd--little bit stories...whew! she's been wearing me out. she's either teething or starting into temper tantrums. either way, it isn't fun! she never cries with tears. she complains and fusses a LOT but there are only tears if she's hurt. however, the last few days she has absolutely pitched fits! she has just WAILED for no reason. i'll be holding her and trying to nurse her and all of the sudden she'll just bawl. i think it is b/c my milk isn't coming down fast enough. when it comes down she stops. she's done this twice, though, when i haven't been trying to nurse (she was just sitting in the floor) and the only way i've stopped it is by sucking on her pacifier (me sucking on it). she has also started waking up at 3am again. last night she fussed for about a half an hour before she fell back asleep and then woke up and fussed at 4:15am and then again at 5:20. then she slept until 8:30am and woke up happy as a lark (what's a lark?). poor b didn't go to sleep until 12:30am and then was woke up at 3am and finally went to work about 4:30 i guess. we have been packing like mad people! it's fun though! i love to pack/unpack. pray that they'll get approval through the park also.
a few little bit pictures:
1st--little bit and her friend justice. they kind of had a play date today. cute aren't they :) the other day little bit scratched his face. today, justice pulled her hair :) sweet revenge!

2nd--that's what i call exhausted! i sleep like that sometimes though. especially if i wake up in the middle of the night. i end up laying over just like that.

i have another prayer request. i've decided to have the biopsy on one of these lymph nodes. it'll be thursday (don't know what time) but should only take a half an hour or so and i'll go home that day. please pray that there is no major problem but also that i'll have a peace about having this done. i've tried having my wisdom teeth out twice and haven't succeeded yet. i just don't do good with needles/surgery/being put to sleep/etc. thanks!!!

They really love each other...they just pretend not to

i have never written about my cats. my profile says i have cats but for all you guys know, my cats roam around without love and affection. so wrong! they are very pampered. a lot less than before the days of little bit but still, pampered. my orange cat (quincy-- named after the iguana in "Foxtrot") was my first. he is a shelter cat who was quite pitiful when we rescued him. he's the "biggest cat ever" as everyone points out when they first walk through the door and glimpse him running to the bedroom to hide under the bed. he is totally petrified of storms, vacuums, and people. he loves the people who see him on a regular basis (my mom, my friend sara, my stepdad, brian, and of course me) but he'd rather not know you if he doesn't already. my little cat (gracee--so named b/c she's grey) is also a shelter cat. her story is longer than my quincy's. i got a cat in january of '04 (i think) from a shelter about 45 minutes from here. it's a different state and in that state, animals (by law) have to be spayed and neutered before being rescued. the cat (reasy) was only 6 or 8 weeks old but they said it would be fine to spay her--they did it all the time. when i picked her out she had a little cough sounding thing but i figured hairball (stupid me didn't know 6 week old cats didn't get hairballs). anyway, that was on a saturday. the following monday they called to say she had an upper respiratory infection and were going to wait to spay her. they SHOULD have waited a full 10 days for the antibiotics to do their thing but unfortunately they did it the next day...grrrrr...we went and picked her up on that thursday. she was happy and so cute and laid in my lap and loved me. i was so excited. shortly thereafter (like the next week) she got really sick. since she was spayed, her body couldn't deal with the infection that she still had and try and heal her surgery wounds so she ended up dying. it was horrible horrible horrible. the most horrible thing! well, i got TICKED and the shelter said to pick out another cat and they'd take care of whatever costs i had incurred (it had been a lot--the poor cat had to have an iv)!! so we saw little gracee. the first time we saw her she was climbing the cage she was in and SCREAMING at the top of her lungs. she was oh so tiny (only 4 weeks old) but weaned from mommy so they let me take her (they said i'd have to bring her back in a few weeks to be spayed...uh-huh yeah right. we had it done at 8 months). we had to keep her and quincy separated for awhile b/c of worms and also quincy was 13lbs and gracee was about 2oz (or so). his paw would've squished her body. the problem with gracee was she wasn't eating right. she loved to eat but she'd only eat while you were sitting right there with her so she didn't get enough. sooooooo...she ended up being hypoglycemic. we came home from dinner one night and she was sleeping. i woke her up but she could barely lift her head. i said "b, something's wrong" he said "no she's just groggy" i said "no something's wrong." her blood sugar had bottomed out and she couldn't even hold her head up. it was PITIFUL! i was sobbing, b was trying to get her to wake up (he still thought she was groggy), my mom couldn't understand me (on the phone) b/c i was crying so hard but finally talked to b and said try feeding her. so i held up some food to her mouth and she wanted it so bad but couldn't open her eyes to see it so she CHOMPED into my finger. i had to be on antibiotics and my finger looked like the jolly green giant's. not pleasant. i still have a scar and it bothers me from time to time. we finally got enough down her that she started to come out of the funk. we had one more episode like that and then she went to spend 2 weeks with my step aunt (big animal expert) and came home like a whole new kitty. she is now perfectly healthy and also, a bit spoiled. she thinks her "place" in life is on my shoulder. she has a catnip-stuffed frog (we call him "lieutenant dan" b/c his legs are coming off--forrest gump). every night she "kills him," brings him to the bedroom, and drops him next to me and then curls up on top of me and goes to sleep. then, whenever we leave the house, she gets him and brings him to the door. she's funny with that thing!

so there's the tail of the 2 cats :)

for those who haven't already...

GO READ THIS and then tell me that you fully support my decision to never leave my child alone with anyone...ever.

we looked at a house today...love it love it love it! it had 2 offers (that the people accepted) but the contracts fell through (can you say "what a good sign"). it is already child proofed, new hardwood floors, new roof, new ac/heat, new hot water heater, new carpet...it doesn't get much better! formal dining room, fireplace, HUGE backyard and in a cul de sac! we're making an offer tomorrow (please Lord, let bridget and john be able to get financing for this place. if they don't, help me to remember that there is something better out there for us and You know best). i'm excited. john talked to b today and he said they were going today to work on getting the financing and he'd let us know something (hopefully) tomorrow. his mom wanted to know why we wanted out so fast. evidentally, she thinks something's wrong with the house. actually, we want out b/c our payment is due the 10th and they wanted to be in here by the first to middle of july. therefore, we're shooting for the 8th. we're trying to accomodate them and being accused of witholding info and selling them a crap house. b told him that he could come out here today, tomorrow, or any other day and see that there is nothing wrong. i'll be mad at that heifer if she messes this up!
gotta go for a walk!

i rock!

9 comments on my time-before-last post! woohoo! go read them :)

i found a website you should all visit: Deal of the Day. If you go to their freebie thing (and get in on the freebies when the offer is still available) you can really rack up! i'm sure they sell your name and address to every available marketing company but hey, i'm a marketing major...i shouldn't complain, right? free stuff=i don't care if they call!

little bit only woke up once again last night. i didn't go in there. she didn't fuss long. sleep was good!! i was sleeping HARD too i guess b/c b's alarm went off at...well, early and i never heard it.

nothing else to write :)

the weekend

i'm happy--i had 6 comments on my last post...yea me!

we had a pretty good weekend...very productive on saturday. not at all productive yesterday. saturday we (basically my husband) cut the grass, washed my car (first time in at least 8 months--probably 10...thank God it doesn't show dirt), fixed the vinyl on our house (a storm busted a few pieces), went and looked at houses, dropped off some stuff at goodwill, and visited my dad. plus, b had to work some. yesterday, we went to church (little bit screamed through sunday school) and went to visit my stepdad and b's dad. it took all day. i love the fact that i have family and that we're close enough to visit but it is really hard getting around to everyone--especially on a sunday afternoon (b/c of church in the morning). we have 3 sets of parents (his, mine, and my other) and if you want to spend any amount of time with them, you have to have all day.

a house burned up in our park the other day...scary! my dad was a volunteer firefighter when i was little and my mom worked on the ambulance and i HATED when they had anything going on. where i'm from (very small town) if ANYthing is going on, everyone gathers around and watches. so everytime there was a fire, if we knew about it, we were watching it. scared me to death! well, i haven't seen an uncontrolled fire since i was little so it just brought back bad memories. thankfully no one was in the house. i'm not sure what happened but we saw them cleaning it out yesterday and it looked like almost everything had smoke/fire damage.

we put an offer on that house on tuesday. it was rejected. we feel like the guy was being a bit unreasonable though. he is asking $100 less than appraisal. we offered him what he's asking but that he'd pay half of closing costs ($1900). he said he's not taking less than what he's asking. i'm not ABOUT to offer him 100% b/c the house has a few things that need to be taken care of so i don't feel like it is worth 100% of what he's asking. if he had been asking a few thousand less than what it appraised for, we could negotiate a little but he's not so we can't! no big deal though...i know it just wasn't meant to be. b was MAD though! i had to remind him that there were many other houses out there! there are acutally some villas that we really like but they have an association fee of $100/month. i hate that! it is for lawn maintenance (there's no lawn) and the security system (we can get it for 17.99/mon ourselves) and small roof/exterior repairs (i doubt we'll have $100/month worth of that). i'd kinda like a yard anyway.

an old high school teacher of ours was in an accident this past week. she's ok but she pulled out in front of a motorcycle and killed the 2 people riding it (husband and wife). word is she was friends with them (they went to school together) and when people got to the scene she was kneeling in the road holding one of them crying and saying she was sorry. and now (supposedly but i don't doubt it) she is having to be heavily sedated. she hasn't had an easy life. her first husband was a logger and his truck broke down so he was on the side of the road and someone hit him and killed him. pray for peace for her. i wish i could just make it better b/c she really is the sweetest person!

not too much little bit news today. she did sleep through the night on saturday which was great!! she woke up at some point last night but i just let her fuss herself back to sleep. either she didn't fuss long or i was just really sleepy b/c i don't remember staying awake for very long. i dreamed about head on (have you seen the commercial--"head on, apply directly to your forehead. head on, apply directly to your forehead. head on, apply directly to your forehead." it isn't my favorite). just a side note there.

whew! i'm tired...little bit just will NOT sleep...what's the deal??? does anyone else have a 7 1/2 month old that won't sleep through the night?? help!! i'm contemplating some sleep training but she's really not that bad of a sleeper. ok that doesn't make sense so here's how it goes around here: she still takes about 3 naps a day (i'm very thankful for this and at first i thought maybe she's sleeping too much during the day but she just can't make it without 3 naps). when she naps, i hold her until she closes her eyes and then put her in her crib (still awake but drowsy) and she goes to sleep fine (that's what i mean by she's a good sleeper--i guess a good go-to-sleeper). at night i feed her and she falls asleep nursing and then i put her down in her crib and typically she's asleep for awhile. but then she'll wake up in the middle of the night and want to eat. i know she doesn't need it nutritionally anymore but she'll cry forever! night before last she woke up at 1am and cried (and it's not tears and screaming in pain...it's just complaining and tear free-fussing) for an hour, finally fell back asleep but was up at 6:30 and complained ALL DAY LONG YESTERDAY!! LITERALLY! i've noticed that if she gets up before 7:30 she is an ill pill! yesterday was no exception. so last night she woke up at 3:15 and fussed for 45 minutes before i finally decided that I needed to sleep and went and fed her. i don't want to cut the monitor off b/c she's sitting herself up now and starting to pull up so if she hurts herself, i need to hear it but i can't sleep with her fussing like that...what do it do?????????? since she's sitting herself up, when i go in there she's sitting up waiting on me. i really think she may be having a hard time laying herself back down to go to sleep. not that she can't lay herself down b/c she can but you know how when you're laying down, it is easier to go to sleep than when you're sitting up.

onto happier things...i've lost 5lbs! in a week!! woohoo! it excites me :) now, 20 more would be ideal!! since i heard about this whole lymph node thing (which i still haven't decided if i'm going to have the biopsy or not) i have been trying to eat better and make myself healthier. i have cut out all sugar (except what's in my ketchup and orange juice) which is a HUGE deal for me b/c i'm a sugarholic! i have also not been snacking a lot. i eat 3 square meals a day and drink carrot juice 4x a day...yes, i said carrot juice. no, it is not good but honestly, it isn't as bad as you'd think. i'll probably be turning orange here shortly but i'll be healthier. the carrot juice is a big deal for me too b/c i eat absolutely NO vegetables (well, except romaine lettuce in my caesar salad). and i hate carrots! i have also cut out starbucks. it has been 2 weeks since i had starbucks. i went from at LEAST every other day (if not everyday) to not having it at all. it's hard but i'm doing it!

father's day is sunday (i'm sure you all know). any ideas?

things

sometimes i get to thinking about things. here are 2 of them:
everytime i reach for little bit, no matter what she's playing with, she immediately drops it and reaches for me. i wonder if she thinks of each time i hold her as an adventure and she just can't wait to see where we're going next.

the things that we are doing right now are going to affect our kids from now until forever. if our kids end up in therapy, it'll probably be a result of something we did or did not do. how scary is that? anyone watch the real world? paula has a lot of issues and said that some of them stemmed from her childhood. that's scary! i know i have a need to fix everybody's problems and have been told it is a result of not being able to fix my parents' divorce when i was a child.

we're going to look at a house tonight at 6pm. we looked at one last night but it was only 1100 sq ft and on the upper end of our price range. the reason is b/c it came with all stainless steel appliances, hardwood floors, ceramic tile in the bathrooms, marble tile in the kitchen, and a 16x20 shop. it was a cute house that needed some yard work and landscaping but kinda high for 1100 sq ft. we don't want much bigger than that (about 1300-1500 would be ideal) but i know we can get a house for a better price than that. the one we are looking at today is 1330 sq ft, in a nice area (good schools), looks like it has at least a partial basement (which i love b/c i hate bad weather), 3br/2bth, hardwood floors/ceramic tile/carpet (new a year and a half ago) so i'm excited. b liked it (from the outside), i like it, and i'm sure little bit will (except for those hard floors on her little knees) so if we like it from the inside and all goes well with selling this place, then we'll probably put an offer on it.

here are some new videos. little bit now spits...nonstop :) and yes, she is growling in parts of it (she also does that nonstop). she also went swimming in my parents' pool for the first time this weekend...speaking of that...we had just gotten in (barely gotten wet) and we heard a HUGE crash from around the circle and then LOUD SCREAMING so we all jumped out, my husband took off running, my step dad jumped in the truck and come to find out, some kids from around the block had been riding in their golf cart (which they do ALL the time) and flipped it. there were 5 of them on it, thankfully they were all ok. the oldest one lost the front ends of his 2 big toes but the rest of them were just kinda banged up. anyway, VERY scary to hear a crash and then screaming like that.


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Praise the Lord!!

we have had a great week thus far and it is only 2 days into it! my dr's appt went really well yesterday. the dr. still doesn't think this is anything to worry about and doesn't really want to do the biopsy. he said if it was him or his wife he wouldn't do it but he'd just watch it closely. however, he said if it would give me peace of mind we could go ahead and do it. totally up to us! we're praying about that now. we have it tentatively scheduled for june 29th but are going to see where we're directed. he also ordered a cbc and a chest xray both of which came back normal. yea!

little bit (who is going to be an inspirational speaker if this photo has anything to do with it. actually she just has this really funny face she makes where she sticks out her tongue and basically strains...she was doing some version of that) has decided that she is just going to grow up this week. she's been pulling up some for the last 2ish weeks but has been doing it more, she sat herself up yesterday for the first time (from laying down), and she's also starting to crawl. she can't get up on her hands and knees so she does it on her elbows and knees. her legs are definitely going one after another though. she amazes me! it is also amazing that she is so strong physically but yet absolutely will not say a consonant (no "mama" "dada" "gaga" or "baba)...so funny!

my dentist appt (first one in 3 years) went well last week. no cavities! ok, well, technically--one cavity but it is in a wisdom tooth that i have to have pulled so it doesn't count :)

we also had people come back and look at our house yesterday (thank God again). this was the 3rd time. they came by themselves 1st, then with her mom, then with his mom (who is s'posed to be cosigning with them). they said they were going to get the loan to go through this week. i think they are going through the same people we have it financed through so i think that will help matters. if they buy it, they want to move in at the first to middle of july. i want to be out by the 10th b/c otherwise our payment will be due and the lot rent too. the only "hangup" is that we have no where to go :) i have always felt like when the house sold, there would be a place ready for us and i still feel like that. there is actually one house in our price range, etc that we are hoping to go see tomorrow. maybe that's the one. i hate getting my hopes up but it's too late--they're up! i almost want to start packing :)

well, fellow bloggers--my child is up from her nap and fussing so i must go to her! oh, wait! "the view" just said "it is just as risky to not smoke while your pregnant as it is for you to not breastfeed." wow! i wonder how people came up with that?
thanks for your prayers and thoughts! they mean the world!

no th13 today...sorry guys!

i need prayer if you guys don't mind. about 6 weeks ago i found a swollen lymph node in my cheek. i went to the ear, nose, throat doctor and he said to watch it for 4-6 weeks. so 2 weeks ago i went back and he put me on an antibiotic to see if that would work. in the meantime, i started having some twitches in my face and his nurse decided i should come back in. so on monday i went back and he ordered a cat scan of my neck (i am really not sure why he wanted one of my neck when the problem was my cheek but no matter now). the cat scan showed some "prominent" lymph nodes throughout my neck. his nurse scheduled me an appointment for monday to talk with him and said that more than likely he would want to schedule an appt for surgery to remove and biopsy them. i have also been having a problem with a wisdom tooth on the same side of my face so (according to my uncle) it could be the root of all my problems. let's pray it is! anyway, obviously i am anxious but i know God is in control so i am just going to trust Him to take care of me! at this point i just thank God that the doctor decided to do the cat scan of my neck (like i said, i don't even know why he ordered that although i'm sure he had his reasons). so, anyway, thanks in advance for your prayers!

testing...1...2...3...

This is a new thing so if this doesn't work, sorry! just trying it out! this is a video of little bit a few months ago. we were folding clothes and b kept throwing a towel over her and she got so excited! i love how spastic her legs look the first time he does it. i don't like my voice on here but as far as i can tell, that's really what i sound like. maybe i should work on that :)



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please comment if you read this one

sometimes i feel (as a pretty much new first time mom) that i should give advice to expecting mothers (i have actually found that this is my new calling in life and also now understand every other woman's reasoning for giving such advice). does anyone else feel this way??? i also know that they will TOTALLY not understand the magnitude of these comments until after they get back with that beautiful new bundle of joy. i know i didn't (but maybe they're smarter than me). so here's some of my advice (although not NEARLY all of it)
first of all--sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep--NOW--a LOT...relish in the fact that you can take naps...long naps...whenever you want...and you can sleep late...again i say, SLEEP!!!!! also, take baths...enjoy your baths. make sure they are LONG LUXURIOUS baths! you'll miss it if you're a bath person. and don't dwell on other people's stories about their birth experiences. i had the best birth ever!! i was induced (yes, it threw me into labor fast but i wouldn't have it any other way) and was done in 10 1/2 hours. it was great! yes, there was pain; no, it wasn't unbearable and not NEARLY as bad as everyone else made it out to be. honestly, you just forget about the pain. within 2 weeks you won't remember anything except how nice it was to be waited on hand and foot in the hospital (if that is where you're going anyway). i would be checking into the hospital NOW to have a baby if i could! i would love 2 days of doing nothing! i would also suggest sending the baby to the nursery at night if you have that option. don't feel like a bad mom! you're not...actually, you're a great mom b/c you're resting up for being more able to take care of the little one when you get home. and my last and most important piece of advice: accept help from EVERYBODY who offers it to you!!! don't turn anyone down for anything (even if they want to fold your underwear and you think you might be humiliated--you won't be...you'll just be thankful)!

i have a lot more advice but i'm more interested in hearing everyone else's. PLEASE COMMENT AND LEAVE ANY ADVICE YOU HAVE...JUST FOR MY CURIOSITY!

p/s yes, my child once was a hobo...

YEA!

Little Bit FINALLY has a tooth wanting to come through. I've been noticing that it was surfacing for a week or so (just a little transparent spot on her gum) but my mom saw it this morning and said "have you seen her gums? she's getting a tooth." so i looked and sure enough--almost a tooth. It hasn't broke the surface yet but you can feel it through her gums. She has been pretty cranky for the last few days too so I guess that's why (although sometimes it is hard to tell if she's cranky b/c of teething or just b/c of her personality).

Some people came and looked at the house tonight. They really liked it but they all do. We'll see. If it is meant to be, it'll happen. It would be ideal b/c they want to move in August and that would give us a little time but I don't want to get my hopes up. Like I said, if it is meant to be...

So You Think You Can Dance is SO funny! Well, the auditions were anyway. Several people claimed to be dance teachers but they were horrible! It seemed to me that "talent" was considered unique. Not necessarily a good dancer but someone who could "pop." it's interesting.

Good weekend planned--nothing to do!! yea!!

My favorite Foxtrot strip ever is listed above. Foxtrot is SO great! Everyone read it!

Doctor again on Monday, probably going to do a cat scan. Prayers please!!!!!!!!

It's raining, sleep will be good tonight! I'm excited! *night night*

just a little food for thought...my tt is further down the page

i have read several blogs in the short time i've been doing this that have made comments about needing to lose weight or being old or various other "flaws" that people feel like they have. it always really strikes me when someone says that. i have a VERY low self esteem which comes from several VERY bad high school experiences but on here, i have no bad feelings about myself or anyone else. every blog i read, i picture the person who writes it and i always picture beautiful women. you're all different (some people have brown hair/brown eyed personalities and some have red hair/green eyed personalities) but no matter how i picture you guys, you are all beautiful. ok, so that got me to thinking about God. God doesn't see imperfections. we are all made in His image. He sees all of us as beautiful creatures. i think it might help all of us to think about that. it sure makes me feel better about myself! so anyway, this may not even make sense. it does in my mind but sometimes i have problems verbalizing things.
two posts for the day...who knows, you might get a third!!

Thirteen Things I Love About My MOM 1. She gives me support in everything and anything! 2. She is and was a great role model for me. 3. She treats B like one of her own. His parents don't do that for me and it hurts my feelings sometimes so I'm glad my mom does that for him. 4. She can cook...GOOOOOOOOOD!!! 5. She would absolutely crawl to the ends of the earth if you needed her to 6. She is a prayer warrior! She amazes me sometimes in her praying, etc. I aspire to be just like her in that aspect! 7. She loves Little Bit more than sliced bread! She wants to be with that baby every waking moment! 8. She has courage and doesn't let fear stand in the way of anything that she wants or wants to do (she trusts in God 100%) 9. She is beautiful! 10. She tells me she loves me about 15 times a day and always has! 11. She calls me everyday (and worries if she can't get me) 12. She always seems to remember to ask about things I've asked her to pray about...even if it has been awhile since we've talked about it. For example--she asked me about Justice's heart murmur the other day and it has been several weeks since we talked about that 13. She is a great Mom and I hope to be just like her!! Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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